Yellow Roses

Today is March 13.  I know that “things happen for a reason”, etc.  I’ve had a lot of thoughts today – mostly in one certain direction.  It was 3 years ago today that Amie passed away. 

I went to work at “White Stores” in December of 1985.  The first evening I met Amie.  In 2 or 3 days, we were friends.  In less than a week, we were best friends.  I know…some people don’t like the term “best friend” – ’cause you think it signifies “one and only”.  I don’t feel that way.  And Amie was the best.  She is the person who introduced me to the man that has been my husband for the last 20 years.  Customers would ask us over and over and over again, “Are ya’ll sisters?”  We’d have to explain that we weren’t even related at all.  This happened A LOT.  Finally, one day when somebody asked us if we were sisters, we just said “yes”.  I don’t remember which one of us did that.  But I do remember the response from the customer – “Well I figured you had to be – the way you were talkin’ to each other and all.  Ya’ll act a lot alike anyway”.  I used to have realllly short hair and it was Amie that convinced me to let it grow – then she took me to the lady that cut her hair – and…Devonda’s been cutting my hair ever since (she is also GREAT, too). 

I can remember that p.o.s. car that Amie had – we’d refer to it as “the little red riding lawnmower” – ’cause that’s what it sounded like.  We’d spend our free time at the city park – I’ve still got pics of her climbing on the monkey bars.  During her senior year, I was at every home ball game – she was in the flag corps in the band.  We shared just about everything back then – including food. 

Which brings me to this – Amie and I worked different shifts, normally.  Me on days – her at night.  So after my shift, I’d go home – change – come back by her dinner break – some times.  Or I’d just come in the store close to closing time – I’d usually have a McDonald’s bag in my hand – I really liked the fish sandwiches back then.  Amie would look at me (she was good at “pouting”) and say, “Where’s mine?”  Then I’d hand her the other bag that was hidden – and she would smile.  I can still see that smile sometimes.  Anyway, my point about the fish sandwiches is this – In 20 yrs. my husband has NEVER asked for a fish sandwich from McDonald’s – really – NEVER.  Guess what he asked for TODAY?  Yep, a fish sandwich.  Today – of all days – the 3 yr. anniversary of her death – and he asked me to pick him up a fish sandwich.  I was a little sad – and a little happy remembering the last time I shared one with Amie.  Kinda weird? 

It doesn’t stop there.  Amie’s favorite flowers were yellow roses.  One of the meanings of yellow roses is “friendship”.  I gave her some yellow roses for her birthday one year – and when she passed away – we went to the funeral home – and pinned to her lapel was a yellow rose.  I asked her aunt who did that – and she said she had – and asked me what I thought about it.  I said, “It’s perfect”. 

I have never given anybody yellow roses since then – I can’t.  I wish I could, but I just can’t.  Galen got me some a couple of years ago, but that’s it.  It seems like in the past, every time I think I’d like to have some yellow roses – I can NEVER find any.  They’re not something the flower shops normally keep on hand.  But guess what color of roses Wal-Mart has had all week – and I mean a lot of them??  Yep – yellow ones.  I can’t even hardly walk by the flowers there without cryin’.  (Now that’s not something you’ll hear me admit to very often – crying – and it’s not something that I do in front of anybody – hardly ever, either).  When Amie died – it was a 3 hr. trip to the funeral home.  I cried all the way down there – all the way back – and pretty much all the time for the next month or so – then just every so often.  The last time that I cried that much was August of 2000 – when “somebody” moved to “Egypt”.  But today – this week – I mean with Wal-Mart having the yellow roses – and Galen asking me for a fish sandwich – I just feel…well…I don’t know whether to just cry or throw up. 

I don’t want to try and turn any of my friends into another “Amie”, but I wouldn’t mind having a friend that close again.  These thoughts have been “just a drop in the bucket” compared to what I’ve been thinking this week – and especially today.  Don’t know what I’m gonna do this evening – maybe go to Wal-Mart and buy myself some yellow roses.